When do you actually become an adult?

I keep asking Adam when we are actually going to become adults? Let me explain-

After a very long pediatric rotation, Adam came home one day and started "discussing" his staff and fellow reviews of his 8 week pediatric rotation (he does a different rotation each month, but only in his intern and 4th year does he really rotate through the "specialty services", ie transplant, vascular, cardio, pediatric, etc-- in general surgery). Usually it gives him time to reflect and to evaluate his like/dislike of a service. Peds was difficult because I was pregnant at the time and for the most part he saw how horribly wrong things can go (lots of premies, congenital stuff, etc). Which for him, is interesting, because he is one of the most optimistic people I know. This led to a discussion about how much he really loved pediatrics and although it was a hard 2 months, he saw that unlike general surgery (which has become so specialized) they get to do EVERYTHING. You don't have to call in a vascular surgeon for vascular cases, all pediatric surgeons do the vascular cases. There is little to no specializing when it comes to pediatric surgery, which is similar to how general surgery used to be. Generally this has been a concern, but we have gotten much more concerned the last couple of years. So after very positive feedback from his peds rotation we started to discuss the possibility of a pediatric fellowship (an additional 2 years of training). Did I mention this all came about within weeks of Teddy being delivered? Yes, there were lots of tears.

After lots of discussions, lots of talks with his mentors and other trusted physicians, and lots of prayers Adam is eagerly pursuing a fellowship in pediatric surgery. I'm excited for him, but the logistics of it all are a bit of a nightmare. What does this mean for our little family- 2 1/2 more years here and then who knows. He is actually deferring for a year (usually you apply for fellowships your 4th year) because of his 1 year commitment to the university. We actually printed off the list of places that we could possibly end up and I'm less than pleased at the prospects. When he applied for residency spots I had specific qualifications- nothing in the midwest/north (sorry- no offense, but I was not going to end up in Wisconsin or Ohio for that matter) mostly because of the cold weather (Adam wanted a major league baseball team and a temple). I was willing to go as far east as NYC, but only because it was NYC. Unfortunately there are only 30 or 32 positions available and only a handful of places I'm DYING to live. But, as someone pointed out-- pediatrics is very competitive so you have to be willing to bite the bullet for 2 years and go wherever. So- I am resigning myself to the fact that I could be living in Cincinnati, Ohio for 2 years. But, we could also stay here so that is a good thing.

I'm excited for him. I think this is a great option for him and for our family. I think he would be bored with general surgery fairly quickly, because it will be nothing like his residency. No more amazingly interesting cases- you are doing gallbladders and appendixes everyday- all day. So I am really happy that he has found another option. But, semi traumatized that we will still be living the student life well into our 30s. Although I think we have done an excellent job at living our lives in a more permanent state of mind, instead of a "when we finish residency" or "this is only temporary" mind frame. Does that make sense? I am very jealous of all our friends that are done and out in the working world-- especially the ones that finished school after us and are already practicing.

For those of you keeping count-our years look like this: 4 years of medical school, 7 years of residency, 1 year of fulfilling his year commitment to his master's program and 2 years of a fellowship Yep- 14 years and I'm not even counting his undergrad.

So after 14 years we will finally be grown ups. Or as I like to say it- finally he will have a real job (he loves it when I say this- usually I include.. I'd like to call a real doctor and see what they have to say).