The Winds of Change are a blowin'

I am a creature of habit. I relish in the status quo. I do not seek change. Of course, like most people, I get antsy. For example, when I get tired of my house and start thinking of purchasing new items, I just rearrange the furniture and I'm happy again. But, this is really the only example I have. I've stayed at ridiculous jobs for years and years because the thought of changing is just too traumatic. Look at my ridiculously long tenure at Banana Republic. Sure I loved it and the clothes, but was it really worth the countless number of hours away from my family or working the only Saturday Adam would have off for the entire month- probably not. But- I am a creature of habit.


So you can imagine the nightmare I am currently facing. The summer always results in lots of people moving away and this year has been especially hard. We have lots of friends that are staples in our lives moving on to bigger and brighter things. I cannot fault them, but as they have already learned.. they are dead to me. I shouldn't be this surpised, because it has happened before.

(This photo was taken at our "last supper" before two of the families moved away.)

3 years ago we lost some of our closest friends. It was a difficult blow and one that I still haven't gotten over. I'm always a little more despondent when my birthday rolls around, because the absence is even more palpable. We have been lucky to visit them frequently in their new place of residence, but still.. It is going to be a tough summer. I'm so thankful for the friends that will remain. I'm also busy plotting fun new vacation spots. I'm all about visiting friends.

I do have something to look forward to: a break from my life when I'm in Utah in July. Although I'm going for a shorter amount of time I'm looking forward to a weekend in California with girlfriends and spending time with my remaining Utah family.

It has also helped me to work. I'm really loving being back at my old job. I think only working 16 hours a week is the perfect amount of time for me. It doesn't allow me to remember all the things I hated about my job (the repetitive nature of my job and the ridiculously mundane attention I had to pay to detail), but rather lets me remember what I love and when I'm sick of it- I get a 4 day break. I was also pleasantly surprised to find all of the people I worked with outside of our clinic still remember me and in a good way. HIV is a hard field to work in, so there is always a lot of turn over. Thankfully lots of the people I used to work with are still there. I'm especially over the moon that my old boss is still at the university, because we've hatched a plan for me to join him on one of his many trips to Africa next year. I'll go and help him audit his charts and do all his data collection. We just have to work out funding. There is a great possibility of him not securing the necessary funds, but even the prospect of going has made me ecstatic. It was great talking to him about his work over there and to hear how successful they have been in treating HIV (going from nothing to 25,000 patients on medication is unbelievable). I know this is a difficult topic in general, but their group, in particular, has made huge strides in securing medication and implementing plans of action to make sure patients are taking their pills. This is especially important with HIV. I'm excited at the prospect of going somewhere and helping. I could do a million posts about this topic.

I'm sure this will explain my lackluster mood and why I'm not posting. Thankfully I had a therapy session with Tasha and feel much better.