How much does it take to find 2 lost children?

Monster #1 and #2




1 calm mother 1 frantic mother (guess which one was me) 1 random jogger 1 family of three 3 garbage men 3 police officers in 3 separate cars (although they assured us there were MANY more on the way) 1 neighbor that assured us she would tell the police officers that we were "good moms" 2 laps around the neighborhood (thankfully the jogging mom is in great shape) 2 calls to 911 (one to call for help, the other to cancel help)

Mind you it took less than 5 minutes for those little buggers to slink like snakes under the fence, run down the alley, hide in a house currently under construction and completely ignore the fact that someone was frantically calling their names.

In Summary:

Total people involved in the escapade: 15 (including the rascals, but not including a worried husband at work)

Total time lost: approximately 10 minutes

Total number of times the little darlings have played in the backyard unsupervised without a problem: At least 100 times

Total number of years I lost: About 75.. at least.

Total time for the adults to recover: 5 days and counting

I know, I joke, but really it wasn't all that funny. Thankfully, at least my little conspirator, knows he scared me. He repeatedly has said over the past couple of days..."crying", ''scared" , "big truck" with at least a slight look of concern.

**post edit** I should clarify that the police didn't actually help us look for the kids. We found them before they got to the house. But when we called the 911 operator back to say we found them, she said they were already enroute so she couldn't call them off. She said they would have to see the kids to verify they were okay. However, the garbage men were in fact the ones that found the monsters.

I Swear I Didn't Make This Up

Adam came home a couple of days with this story. I repeatedly accused him of lying, but really.. who could ever make this crap up.


Adam is currently taking care of transplant patients. He was in clinic and a patient came in (along with his mother) needing "access" for his dialysis treatments. They started asking the patient general health/medical questions and quickly learned that the patient received a kidney from his mother. The transplant was done in Mexico. Great! When did the new kidney fail? The patient couldn't provide them an answer, so they contacted the patient's nephrologist. He explained that while the mother has a scar indicative of a kidney harvest (he had examined her), the son's scar is not "normal" for a kidney recipient. After further investigation (an ultrasound and CT scan) the donor kidney could not be found. They could tell, because usually when a kidney is transplanted they leave all the old kidneys in place and just add the new kidney. I asked Adam to explain why.

From Adam: "The ureter length and the artery and vein are technically easier to deal with if the kidney is in the pelvis"... yeah.. thanks or in non technical terms the tubes aren't long enough to connect your kidney to your bladder if you just put it back in the same old place.)

So, the point is that they suspect/know that although the patient's mother gave a kidney, it is likely that her son did not get said kidney. The funny thing is that NO ONE wanted to tell the mother that her kidney is out there somewhere.

I guess all those crazy urban legends of people waking up in baths of ice with a scar are slightly true.


the end.