So long SUCKER!

Things I won't miss about chemo:

1. the metallic taste in my mouth

2. "pity" stares when i register for my infusions

3. queasiness that is only thwarted by round the clock doses of zofran

4. IVs

5. low blood counts that lead to self imposed isolation until they return to a safe range

Things I'll miss:

1. 5 hours of uninterrupted reading time. i made a goal of not watching any tv/movies while i was having my treatments, which meant i was either reading or sleeping most of the time. sometimes i'd play words with friends or listen to music.

2. awesome nurses that are supportive and do everything they can to make sure your experience is as pleasant as possible

3. a "get out of doing anything card" for the 48 hours afterward because of the queasiness issue

4. the time i got to myself. sure there were always other patients around, but everyone keeps to themselves and does their own thing.

at the end of it, i sit here making this silly little list, knowing that i am incredibly blessed. i know that many of the other people i saw had a much harder and longer road ahead of them. i can only hope for the best for them.

i also have hope that this really is the end of this portion of my treatment regimen and that it was effective. time will tell. regardless, i can't help but feeling awfully lucky.

My Life in a Nutshell

Teddy has decided that if I'm not going to post on my blog, he will do it for me. Isn't his nose disgusting?

Although I've been completely neglecting my blog, I haven't been neglecting myself.

• I signed up for an online photography class w/ Candice Stringham through Jessica Sprague.com. I had no idea I could change my shutter speed. I'm seriously pathetic. It has only been a week, but I've enjoyed playing with my camera and learning about what it can really do. My pictures aren't great, but at least I got the shutter speed correct.

• I'm terribly embarrassed at the number of books I've read on the Big Read List. I mean REALLY embarrassed. I'm trying to correct the matter and read the bulk of the books recommended. I just finished Anne of Green Gables and A Town Like Alice. OHHH A Town Like Alice- I can't say enough about this book. I'm sure y'all have already read it, but if you haven't I would HIGHLY recommend picking up a copy. It reminded me of my other favorite book Mrs. Mike. I also finished Hunger Games (fantastic) and Girl with A Pearl Earring (for bookclub). I just picked up The Five People You Meet in Heaven and I need to finish Palace Walk. I'm really enjoying this little reading kick I'm on.
  

arboretum

We have had ridiculously nice weather for the last week or so, so we have been enjoying the outdoors.

Teddy ate his lunch in the go bug because he wouldn't stop running off.

A bike ride and lunch in the park

My mom and sister are coming for a visit tomorrow. We have several fun things planned around town (Fossil Rim, the Tut Exhibit at the DMA, the arboretum). Hopefully the weather will hold out.

Do you post even though you don't have pictures to prove it?

You know it is a sad state of affairs when your husband comments
"Wow- it's been a long time since you posted on your blog."

I wish I could say it was because my internet is still down, but that would be a lie.

• Thankfully we were restored last week after several phone calls. It feels good to be among the living again. Although yesterday I just discovered I am only receiving email, but not sending. Luckily my genius bil (with the help of my equally genius husband) took control of my computer from freaking Utah and solved the problem. So, if you receive some random email that seems to be days late- mystery solved.

Possibly because I've been reading a book. But, that would be a lie too.

• I've been staring at Glass House, Goose Girl, Girl with a Pearl Earring, Hunger Games and Palace Walk for a bit. Some longer than others. I'll get to them. Instead I've been reading blogs I missed during my internet mishap and catching up with long lost friends on Facebook.

How about taking pictures? Nope.

• I haven't picked up my camera in weeks. Wait- I did for a short time last Friday at Lulu's Valentine's Day Party, but lost interest and STOPPED. I'm lazy. I'm also disenchanted. I take really bad pictures and until I make it a priority to learn how to properly use my camera.. I'll probably continue to be disenchanted. I know- poor logic.

Need something interesting to post about? Possibly.

• I haven't had any really big blog worthy events. I use blog worthy events loosely. I'm all about documenting, but do I need another photo or us going to the arboretum? And, if I didn't take any photos, is it still worth writing about?

• My life has been remarkably boring. This was evident last week when I went to dinner with a group of friends and when asked "what have you been up to," my response was "nothing." Of course this was followed with "how are things going?" To which I replied "fine." I certainly wasn't trying to give short one word replies, nor was I trying to hide anything. I've just recently realized my life is sometimes one word responses.

Are any of these blog worthy sans photos?

• Creating fancy Valentine sweets for Lulu's friends and classmates. Okay- I agree, this one is probably blog worthy regardless of photo.
  

• Experiencing a gloriously sunny day at the Arboretum with a handful of friends and leaving with a refilled spirit and a sunburn. Although enjoyable- I have about 1,000 photos of me and the kids at the arboretum.
  

• Enjoying a delicious dinner and a completely bizarre play about the Book of Genesis with some girlfriends. I'm still traumatized by the loin cloth Adam wore. Now wait- before someone makes some "CLEVER" remark .. I mean the Adam in the play. No pictures allowed. I'm trying to get it out of my head.
  

• Spending Valentine's Day with a post call Adam and my littles. We made heart shaped pink pancakes, vacuumed the car in anticipation of Dave and Tasha's visit and took afternoon naps. The heart shaped pancakes were a little scary. Does anyone really want a photo of us vacuuming our car?
  

• Delivering Valentine's Day Cards and laughing hilariously while Lulu unsuccessfully doorbell ditched each and every one. I was just laughing too hard to catch a photo.
  

• Having a date with Adam on Valentine's Day. We saw Coraline (love it) and went to Target. (We had a fancy dinner a month or so back and decided after we spent a little too much that we should count this as our Valentine's Day dinner and call it even.) Regardless of how lovely it was, I just wasn't going to take photos.
  

So there you go. They are all important and fun, but are they all blog worthy without a photo? Evidently yes, since I just blogged about it.

**Wait- I did alienate a few friends this week AND posted a crazy comment on a friend's blog. Is that blog worthy? Remember- it doesn't require photos.

Five Questions for Friday

1. Should I be embarrassed that two days ago I used my iTunes giftcard to purchase several songs on Jordan's "Nineteen for Nie" (the girl has mad mixed tape skills), but I also purchased the new Taylor Swift song Love Story? (Obviously she has seen Pride and Prejudice one too many times.)

2. Is it okay to take my kids to my girlfriend's house (we do a swap every friday with two friends), even though she called this morning and said her baby has a temperature? Sure we are going to drop off late, so the febrile baby will already be asleep, but I feel a little guilty letting her babysit all 7 (my two + her 3 + other friend's 2) when she has been caring for a sick baby.

3. Even though I'm on a spending hiatus, does it count that I purchased a plate yesterday, when said plate was a special ordered from 2 months ago?


4. Why do they make a Y incision when performing an autopsy?


5. Does anyone understand how they are going to explain why Izzie is no longer seeing Denny on Grey's Anatomy even though her "visions" are directly related to her supposed aneurysm? So is the aneurysm no longer "flaring", since he is gone? How does that make any sense?

and just for kicks

6. Can someone explain to me why I'm even trying to make sense of Grey's Anatomy in the first place? Furthermore, why I'm even WATCHING it? (Adam just sits and screams at the TV and usually moves to another room because it is SOOO ridiculous.) I mean really. Two weeks ago they had a plastic surgeon and an orthopedist performing a surgery (I think they were removing a gallbladder or something). I know, I know.. it isn't real, but if you are going to use real professions try to at least make it look credible. It is like saying a plastic surgeon is performing a heart transplant. Okay, maybe not that ridiculous, but it is close.

and just because I spent 10 minutes at the Coke machine

7. Why haven't they calibrated the Coke machines to accept the new quarters? Seriously- I just put $4.00 worth of quarters in the machine (and watched them return to the change cup) in order for $1.00 to be accepted.

Recap of 2008

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Wore Mickie Mouse hats at Disneyland for an ENTIRE day with Adam.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I really never make resolutions because I always seem to fail in completing them. Although this year I'm looking at it in a whole new way (thanks Amy M.) .

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Several friends and my sister in law

4. Did anyone close to you die? No one necessarily close, but President Gordon B. Hinckley (my church's prophet) died this year and the loss of a prophet always seems like the loss of a friend.

5. What countries did you visit? NONE- can you believe it.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? I'd like to be content and a REAL budget.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The day Adam received his commitment letter for his Pediatric Fellowship. The day I lost Africa for THIS year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Going to the gym semi (cough) regularly. Don't judge me Carrie.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not sticking to my goal of 4 days a week at the gym. I'm working on it, I'm working.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? My lupus was much more active this year, but overall I was healthy.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My beautiful, gorgeous piece of art.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I know, it is cliche, but Barack Obama. I'm also in total awe of all the bloggers that came to the aid of the Nielson Family. The world is really good.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? All the fat cats in business (no offense to my friends in business).

14. What did you spend most of your money on? Dental work for Lulu.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The prospect of Adam completing his residency... 11 years people (well including medical school). Only 2 more to go.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? The City by Joe Purdy. I'm sure I played it at least 1,000 times this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer? I guess happier, fatter, and even.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? laughing, smiling,

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? loafing

20. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes. I'm in love with all the blogs I've discovered and the many pretty little things that are out there.

21. What was your favorite TV program? Pushing Daisies (oh the sadness) and Arrested Development.. STEVE HOLT.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? The executives at ABC for canceling Pushing Daisies.

23. What was the best book you read? Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery? Joe Purdy

25. What did you want and get? A trip to California with girlfriends.

26. What did you want and not get? A trip to Africa.

27. What was your favorite film of this year? I loved Slumdog Millionaire (I know it is rated R, but I still think everyone should see it), I also loved the Cursious Case of Benjamin Button, and Once (after a second viewing). And only because I still laugh regularly- Tropic Thunder. I know!

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? How pathetic- I have NO IDEA. I turned 33.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Regular exercise

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Much more colorful than years past.

31. What kept you sane? Perspective!

My Poor Neglected Blog

December 4th is really the last day I posted? Today is the what...? I'd like to pretend that I have been TOO busy to post, because I've been

• spending time with my family
• baking a ridiculous number of items for friends and neighbors
• handmaking each and every gift for my family
• actually getting ready for Christmas

Well, I guess I've been doing the last item on my list. I HAVE made my Christmas cards. As I type this they are perfectly perched in a bag crying to be delivered. I am headed to the post this very morning, to mail not only the cards, but presents to family members, and this ridiculously LARGE box to my friend Kathryn in India (I can take no credit. Another girlfriend organized it and my contribution is mailing the package. Unless it costs me more than what I spent on my kids for Christmas, and that isn't much.)

I'm sad to think that when I look back on these past two weeks I'l have no written documentation of:

• decorating the Christmas tree
• decorating the front yard (take that my freaky neighbors)
• a ridiculous number of trips to Wolf Camera
• attending Lulu's dance class on Parents Day
• attending Lulu's pre-school party. They performed a play about the birth of Jesus. She was a beautiful angel.
• sewing
• driving around to see the fancy Christmas lights.

Surely I have time to post one little thing? Can we somehow add another hour to the day?

My Political Experiences

1. I love taking pictures of funny political signs. While in NOLA a candidate's sign said

"He Has the Favor of God"

It always struck me as unbelievably funny.

2. Lists are essential. If I ever run for an elected office, I'll be sure to call YOU.

3. Once, while I was working on a campaign, I went out to the candidate's spouse's car and discovered political signs for the opponent in the back. I know- it was terrible, but trust me.. I'm certain both sides were doing it. Although it is much more distasteful to me now.

4. If you ever want to get the public riled. Make sure you focus on the starving women and dying babies. Women and babies are the KEY to public outcry.

5. Political parties throw a lot of parties for really dumb reasons. They also give you dumb mementos to celebrate the occasion. I have a lot of mugs to support this theory.

6. I once went to the AFL-CIO meeting with a candidate. My grandfather was a plumber in Utah (he actually helped build the bulk of the Hogle Zoo in his day). His brothers were also plumbers in Utah. We chatted and I told them about my family. I got a very warm response. As we were leaving I yelled "Go Plumbers". Everyone thought it was pretty funny.

7. I worked on the campaign for a candidate that had been diagnosed with cancer. It was a well guarded secret. He won his re-election, but died days before the next legislative session. I've always been proud of my work on his campaign.

8. I interviewed for a job in NOLA Mayor's office. Morial, not Nagin. His Chief of Staff was reviewing his virtuous service by recounting to me that his staff includes a PERSONAL CHEF so he can eat lunch in his office and always be available. This was the same year that they were trying to levy a garbage fee to give a much needed raise to city workers. It was rejected, but he still has his personal chef. I was always really happy I didn't get that job.

9. I took a quarter off from college and worked for a lobbyist at the state capital. It was an AMAZING experience. I was lucky to work with some really experienced lobbyists. It was the year the Utah State Legislature was going to levy a tax on cigarettes and use the money for several things, including roads. I had fun listening to their conversations with different members trying to discourage them from voting for the tax. They kept referring to the whole things as Tobacco Road.

10. What goes around always comes around. Really- it does.

I will get to California, but until then...

I ...

i am.... self absorbed.
i think...too much.
i do... crossword puzzles everyday.
i know... I belong to the true church.
i want... a house of my own.
i'm not... photogenic.
i would... like to be more creative.
i have... very few original ideas in my head, but I'm okay with that.
i dislike...whiny children.
i miss... living in Utah.
i fear... failure.
i feel... restless.
i hear.... nothing. The kids are in bed and Adam is at work.
i smell... lavender.
i crave.... some time with close girlfriends.
i cry... in the car. Every girl needs a good cry.
i usually... fall asleep on the couch and stumble to bed way too late.
i search... for peace.
i wonder.... why I am so terrible with budgets.
i regret... not going to law school in New Orleans.
i love... hearing Lulu and Teddy playing and laughing together.
i worry... my kids won't grow up with a "magical childhood" because I'm too lazy.
i am not... very disciplined.
i remember... driving with my heat on and the windows rolled down to the U of U in March.
i believe... we all have the ability to be extraordinary.
i dance...poorly.
i don't... like how critical I can be.
i write... terribly, but I still write.
i win... dow shop pretty regularly.
i lose... my train of thought and go off on tangents.
i wish... I could go to Africa.
i listen... to Joe Purdy everyday, all day. I've actually listened to the song "The City" for 8 hours straight.
i don't understand... why I'm not always kind.
i can usually be found... running like a chicken with its head cut off.
i am scared... my kids will remember the bad instead of the good.
i would learn... to take better pictures and photoshop.
i need to lose... my insecurities and just be.
i forget... to remember my amazing blessings.
i am happy... really- I am happy contrary to some elements of this list.