Lulu refuses to go to bed. She used to be so good about staying in bed and more importantly in her bedroom when we put her to bed for the night. But now, she is playing in her bedroom for hours- which wouldn't matter so much, except she puts her fingers underneath the door and you can just see her little face and these fingers sticking out of her room. We have had to start locking her in her room until she is asleep and then opening the door for the night.
Last night- Adam finally was at his wits end so he told her if she left her room again he would have to take the bear and the bear's blanket (two items she takes with her everywhere and insists on having with her at all times), but this didn't phase her. We KNEW we were in trouble when the removal of the bear was just shrugged off. So- she got out of her room and this time Adam went full force- he removed ALL her little guys she sleeps with. He comes into our bedroom with this armful of stuffed whatnots and I can just hear her screaming. It wasn't funny, but really- it was. Only because our child currently sleeps with:
bear and bear's blanket
baby
another baby (this is what she calls it)
pig
doggy
panda bear
little rabbit
blanket
and depending on her mood a ball. Are you kidding me? Adam had all these little guys in his arms and they are now resting in my laundry basket. What are we to do? He even removed the animals that she is only lukewarm about.
I think the thing that is most shocking- she is a really good child, so althought this behavior might seem mild, it is extreme for us. She is usually pretty good and I can get her to stop before I hit the number 2. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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when we were getting ethan used to sleeping in a real bed, we did the supernanny thing. in case you've never seen the show, this is how it goes. the first night, ethan threw an absolute fit, but i stayed in the room right next to his bed (never talking to him or making eye contact) and every single time he got out of bed, i put him right back in. at first we were kind of a whirlwind -- as soon as i put him back in he'd jump right out -- but eventually he settled down. after he finally stayed put, i slowly inched myself out of the room over the course of about an hour. each night i'd do the same thing, but start a little further away from his bed. although ethan's personality is very persistent and determined, it still worked. it just took a few nights.
whew! sorry for the novel, just thought i'd share what worked for us. i'd also recommend bringing something to read to keep you from being bored out of your mind. i think i was reading the poisonwood bible during this phase, which i really liked and would recommend.
I have seen super nanny do this too. Let us know if it works for you. I don't remember any huge bedtime struggles, maybe I have blocked them out? My Jessica though is one that we have had a hard time finding her "currency" whatever we take she just shrugs off...with the exception of food...which of course we can't use. The only time she ever freaked about a punishment was when Jimmy threatened PB&J sandwiches three meals a day and nothing else. I had to quickly override him...hello! Threatening a girl with food. A rare case of when we didn't not back each other up even in front of the kids.
Good luck with LuLu.
We haven't had any problems with bed time stuff so I'm not sure what to advise. You could look online for parenting advice from people who have really struggled with similar issues. Is her room dark enough? Does she need white noise or soothing music or something different to make sleep more appealing?
Mya is doing the same thing! Except she is still in her crib and I fear moving her to a real bed. It is freaky because this is so not like her, but naps and bedtime are the same scream fest. I might have to try the super nanny thing. Good luck and know I am right there with ya.
aahhh, sleep issues--have to love em. We have flipped the locks to the outside and that is what we too ended up doing. It sounds so cruel, but it worked. Every few minutes (if they were tantruming) I would just go and speak to them through the door saying we are here, we love you and you must go to sleep. Many of times Sam has fallen asleep at the door. I wish you the best of luck--I HATE sleep issues. There are times we STILL have to lie down with Sophie. Its mind numbing!
Oh and one more thing. Is she still taking a nap? There came a point we had to drop that (around 2-3 yrs) so that they would fall asleep early. There is a point with all my children that if they took a nap they wouldn't be able to go to sleep until 9 or 10. Anyways, good luck!
I don't mean to laugh, but the story is truely funny. Too bad you didn't capture a picture of Adam with all the animal "friends" that would have been classic. We have a child #3 in our home who never wants to stay in bed. It really is painful. She probably is just going through a phase. All I can say is whatever you decide stick with it and don't cave. I have learned that the hard way. Good luck!
Reise use to be so good at sleeping in her bed and then she also went through this phase. Pretty much had to take stuff out of her room and tell her that she wouldn't see grandma or grandpa if she got out of bed which at this time was the most important thing to her... She finally would cry herself to sleep on that big pillow she's got... Sadly it is a phase and there isnt much you can do other then keep strong and dont give in because once you do she will push harder. Good luck sucker! Glad my kids are out of that phase now. If we could only get them to stop rocking and mumbling we would be good.
I'm with Amy W, we too flipped the lock on SEth's door to the outside. I don't think there is anything harder than sleep issues...I think it's because at least I feel like they are encroaching on MY time that I have earned all day long. Isn't that terrible!! Jenny is right though, once you figure out what works for you, stick with it. It WILL pass, everything does.
We have had to deal with so many sleep issues. Out of our three kids, not one is a good sleeper. What a gyp!
With my first, we did what we read about in a book, out of complete desperation. It sounds similar to what supernanny suggests.
For a few nights, I sat in a chair right next to his bed until he fell asleep. Every couple of nights, I moved the chair a little closer to the door until eventually I was out in the hall, and then he didn't need me anymore. It took about a month! It made me furious that I had to do that, but it did eventually work.
One thing I have learned from books, classes, and my own experience is you can't make a kid go to sleep. You can't tell them when they're tired. Of course I don't think there's anything wrong with "bedroom time" instead of "going to be" at night. This is what we do with our girls and it sounds like you are doing the same. Honestly our rule is as long as your in your room and we can't hear or see you you can do whatever. We had a few problems at first with my middle child coming out so we told her she could either be in her room with the door open, closed or locked. We put the ball in her court and allowed her to make the choice. I think that's key. We never did have to go to the locked stage, but I don't feel bad about that as long as you know they are safe and you unlock it once they're asleep.
Sleeping is a tricky thing, but once you got it down it's bliss. Just be honest with her and tell her that mommy and daddy need alone time too. I know it's hard when you have one that won't respond to punishment, trust me I've got one like that too. Try giving her a choice and see what happens. It has certainly worked for me.
Oh, I forgot to mention we too have flipped the lock thing. Works like a charm!
Welcome to being a parent... LuLu is just testing you.. She will get tired of it after a while. Don't let her know you are worried as that will be her key way of getting to you. She is a delightful child and she will test you just to see what you will do. Every kid is different. D never wanted to be out of my site would cry all the time. Drove me nuts. I finally just let him cry and guess what he stopped crying. H is a lot like lulu. She was so good natured that we really never had trouble with her until she got into her teenage years!!! She always asked us why we didn't let her do this when everyone else could. She turned out ok though. M was just M he is a kid that dances to his own tune. So you will find that some things you can control by rules and other things you will just have to test the waters to see which way you should go. GOOD LUCK... Love you AD
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